Author Archives: Adam Clery

About Adam Clery

Adam Clery is a Geordie journalism graduate and aspiring patter merchant who decided to cash in all his chips and up-sticks down to London. His life now consists of penning his thoughts on life, love and football for such reprehensible organisations as The Sabotage Times, Trisickle Magazine and, of course, Scheidt's Footballing Miscellany. His dad may have played for Scotland at some point, but don't hold that against him. Articles || Twitter || Email

Beginner’s Guide To The Premier League – Bow To Peter Crouch, Your Aryan Overlord

Oh domestic football, you cruel mistress. 7 days apart is simply too much for our hearts to bear. Even though our relationship borders on abusive, addictive, emotional asbestos our souls are lifted by the mere scent of your presence. But … Continue reading

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Beginner’s Guide To The Premier League – Steve Kean: Footballing Adonis

Why did the chicken cross the road? For football, of course! Welcome back fans and fannies for another exciting instalment of the Sky Sports’ Premiere League The Movie. Part 5. We’ve got thrills, chills, spills and, later on tonight, pills. … Continue reading

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United & City Continue To Smash The Competition As Dalglish Accuses Pulis Of Signing Clattenburg

Did you miss this, darling? As all right-thinking folk know, the footballing respite and continuing degradation of pan-European relations that is the international break, is the worst thing to happen to the game since Robbie Savage’s dad “forgot” to pull … Continue reading

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The Beginner’s Guide To The Premier League – ‘One Man Shower Of B*****ds’

Knock knock Who’s there? Football! Brill! Well come on in then you old scamp and tell us what the hell you’ve been up to! That’s right ball-boys and girls, it’s time for your weekly round up of all things Premier … Continue reading

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The Beginner’s Guide To The Premier League – Week 1

Bish-bosh footfans and welcome to the your inaugural, pre-chewed and sopping wet weekly round up of the Premiership league. We’ll bring you the dizzying highs, the despairing lows and, best of all, the burning, acidic fingers-down-your-throat middle. Yes that is … Continue reading

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